...Right...
It's the first time in my life that I actually went to sleep on 22:00 PM on December 31 2006, yes! I'm such a punker that I decided to simple doze off into 2007 in a dream style and not in an over paid, overrated ridicules public social event.
It's true that I woke up at 00:00 when world war 3 happen outside my doorstep and all over the land, what a wonderful display of ammunition, what a waste of good money and what a horrifying river of noise. I felt back in Vietnam, looked like a regular afternoon in central Baghdad...and the smell, truly a unique gun powder aroma...
Anyway, it's about 00:36 and I'm sitting here in front of my favorite piece of machinery and I'm writing a blog while pretty much everyone I know is outside celebrating and so on and so on..this year it's a bit different for me.
I had a very powerful mind breaking meditation early on today and I really came up with a clear vision of how I should continue my life on earth, I realise that I want to change many things, well..not that many but defiantly some issues which I have been boggling with for many many years now..i found out that if I won't find the strength to make a change now, I probably never will, that thought alone made me feel weak and lost. I didn't like that feeling, even if I knew it so well.
So I decided to let go of social pressures and stand up for what I think is best for me, I done it before but never on such a special event, a date which by god means we all know that it's a must to celebrate, to rave and be merry. Truth is, The day don't mean a thing, just because it's on the calendar followed by a lunar cycle and everybody follows it don't mean you must do too! I realise that I can party and feel happy every day, I can celebrate and make new resolutions any day of the year, and on the 31 of December I can sleep or party like never before, it really doesn't meter.
Honestly I picked this day specially since the past few weeks I have been going nuts about my life and the way I wish to take it to the next level, yes! I do see levels in one's life, I sure do see levels in my own life, like a staircase going up, even if sometimes I feel like I'm falling it's still falling up. I choose this day because it's easy, it's convenient and I'm sure I'm not the only one. A new year, put the old one aside, pretty easy date to fix things in your life, well, you better have determination because you will need it.
The changes I want to make are not for the next 365 days, I want them to be for as long as I live, so I guess I will need a much bigger pile of strength and determination that I though. The point is to start, to have the main idea of a change, to move forward and simply not give up! I know it's too easy to say it then to actually do it, but I believe it's possible, specially after seeing it happen in my life quite a few times..
I think it's called faith in oneself...god could be involve also on this, so you better believe in something..
It's almost 1:15 in the morning and the fire squad is still exploding outside but the feeling of happy happy joy joy is fading away, people getting back to their lives, maybe with a Huge hang over building up for tomorrows morning or simply being shit faced already, maybe some only start to enjoy themselves after the 12:00 o'clock rush and maybe some didn't even leave the couch. My life looks the same as before, but something inside of my feel a bit different, some weird sense of self is growing, some awareness of being, some responsibility of my own thoughts and actions..it's small but it's bigger then an hour ago..i think it's me, the real one this time, the soul...i think I'm on the right track for a change..i think this will be a turning point in my so called life...i think this is it..I guess only time will tell...
...happy new year ! And much much more...
Much love and success on your life's quest..
Adida The Fallen Angel..
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