..Hot Coco...

Right....

Can't sleep, again.

Started the day at 7:00AM with HOT COCO! Finally, it's funny that I want to have hot coco every morning but I never wake up in the morning and I never have milk. It's even more funny that I have a shop right around the corner but god knows I will never leave the house to go and get some. The even more more funny funny thing is that when I finally do take the time and courage to go and get milk, it sits in my fridge for exactly the right time for it to go bad! And it will be the same moment when I actually decide to make me a cup of hot coco!!!

Anywho, I think I have a tumor. The pain in my head is growing and some days it's hard to get to sleep or even thing straight, it's like there is a screwdriver stuck in my eye, and it's rusty and it's spinning. I don't know if it's my contact lens gone bad or my glasses not being updated for at least 3 years or the fact that there is no air in the house since everything is wide shot because it's freaky cold outside or because I wear a hoddy on my head all the time or because I don't eat at all or because I'm looking at 2 or 3 screens simultaneously for days on days or maybe it's because I started to smoke cigarettes without filters, straight up cancer! I think it's all of the above, all in one and one for all!

This has to stop...i wand to get a proper sleep, a proper cup of coco, no headaches, new glasses, some breakfast, air and a healthy strong spirit ! I know I can do this, I've done it before, all I need to do is to make the decision final, then I'll be moving forward and not backwards like I think I am, then I will be able to get my wings back, god knows I want them so bad...

...I think I'll open my porch door and let some fresh freezing air in, deiced about how I'm going to fix my life and fix me a cup of hot coco!

Adida The Fallen Angle

Happy EveryThing...

...It's 17:00 o'clock and I just woke up! My internal and biological clock is going upside down, I have no idea what's going on with me but I can't stop feeling this enormous energy flow all over me.

The past few weeks I have been running back and forth in bed at 5AM trying to get to sleep but can't simply because my brain is washing me with dozens of great ideas and projects I wish to do.

Sometimes it's just too much, I mean I can't sleep! I think it happen last year also, every end of year I suddenly have this rush to fix my whole life in a couple of days, to rebuild everything that I broke and Aline my personal agenda along side with the universal one....

This year I feel it more then ever. I want to do so much, there is so many things I can become better in, there are so many ideas and dreams I think I can actually bring to life and make them come true... This situation drives me nuts....going to sleep at 7AM and waking up at 16:00 ?!? What's that all about ?

Man I cant wait for the first of January, I will feel so much better....clean mind, clean body, clean spirit..i will rise like a burning phoenix...I have seen it...thats why I can't sleep and can't wake up right, it's like judgement call on me. I feels like I must close the book of everything that brings me down before it will take to a place I only visit in my darkest nightmares. I must call quiets on all the chains whether it's smokes, meat, sex, drugs, alcohol, self disrespect, sadness, ego, lust, anger, greed, attachments and everything that just don't feel right anymore...

I must never forget who I really am and what is the main goal of my life....the main goal of my life....the main goal of my life.....

...the main goal of my life...

Adida The Fallen Angel.