it's been 10 years since I stared to dive into the spiritual world. it's been the same amount of time since I learned about the changes one can apply on the self, the ability to see clearly what makes us tick, what makes us feel and react the way we do, I notice that with meditation I actually found my true self.
for many years now I have drifted from the social ring I used to dominate, I faded away, I figured that people change and sometimes they don't but you do and you simply don't function equally as you used to around them, I believe everyone can identify with this matter.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't lose the spark of life or the buzz of madness or the need to socialize and be a part of society, it's just that I realized that in my youth I really needed social acceptance and when I was left alone to my thought I would go crazy, I would fear my own mind and would do anything possible to not face them, I would run and hide and use any substance available to keep them thoughts and feelings away, the only Way I would be able to even tell you that I love you was when I was totally drunk or stoned out of my mind, and my gosh, was I ever drunk and stoned.
today, not using these substances I find myself alienated in many occasions, most of the time I bring it on myself and find a way to simply walk away from lack of interest or sheer boredom, I learned to value my time and to spend it wisely on the things that make me happy and can bring a positive outcome to myself and hopefully to my close surroundings, I sure do try and I am positive about the fact that most of the people I call my friends thinks I am a little weird, it's ok, I can live with that, there is always love under the table and you can be sure that the next time you look into my eyes you will see something special that took me 10 years to find for myself.
So, I am like the calm of the hurricans's eye, I am ready to take on the world and I will do it gracefully and without a notice, sometimes I am indeed a storm in the making but the past years I learn to shine bright with almost a transparent quality, well, if you see me on stage you will understand the value of incognito atom bomb, like a flower, I am like a ghost, unnoticed till I open up and show you what I am all about....
fade in and fade out...not a moment to lose....
